Home

By Rachel Wiley

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"Ask him where home is!"

The truth of this somewhat humorous statement is obvious to just about anyone who has grown up in more than one place, and especially for missionary kids. If this question were put to one particular girl whom I have known for many years, she might say anything from Egypt, to Alabama, to Ivory Coast, to Kazakhstan, to South Carolina. Another girl in my school was born in Kenya, spent some time in Boston, moved to Turkey, now lives in Kazakhstan, and will shortly move to Florida. At the risk of making a general statement, such is the life of missionary kids. For them, the concept of home includes homelessness, adaptability, and perspective and while there are many difficult issues to deal with as a result, the benefits are overwhelming.

One of the issues that MKs struggle with is a feeling of homelessness and a lack of belonging. When they are overseas, locals look upon them as foreigners or even outsiders. Yet, when they return to their home countries, they find that they do not fit in there either. One of my good friends, a Korean girl, spent most of her childhood in England. There, despite the fact that she spoke English before she learned Korean, her friends often commented on her funny accent. Upon returning to Korea for a couple of years, she found that she had a poor accent in her native tongue as well. She didn’t belong in either of the places that she would have liked to call home. Another of my friends has dealt with this issue quite well. Proudly displayed on the closet door in her room is a cartoon she drew of a friendly green and spotted alien. Next to him are the words, "I am an alien!" and the reference John 17:16. In this verse, Jesus told his Father, "They are not of the world, even as I am not of it." Recognizing that we may not belong anywhere on this earth, missionary kids can remind themselves that it is alright since we are citizens of a greater place anyway.

As a result of their ever-changing lives, adaptability, both in the negative and positive sense, is a key trait of missionary kids. When one girl left the country where she had spent half of her childhood, to attend college, she had a rather painful discussion with a very frank friend. This friend happened to comment that once they were apart, she probably would not actually miss the girl very much. The girl was confused and hurt by the revelation. However, the truth for many missionary kids is that people come and go so often, they have learned to just roll with it. Although good-byes may be difficult and teary, life goes on and they simply adapt to the new circumstances. On the other hand, this can be a wonderful gift for missionary kids. They quickly learn that time is short and that they should make the most of the moments they have. Whether at a new school, or at a camp, or on furlough, they learn to talk to people and to relate to different types of people and are soon past the small talk and into something deeper with their new friends.

Having seen so much of the world and what goes on in it, and being at home in many places, MKs have a unique perspective. There are sometimes disadvantages to this though. It means that they often have a hard time fitting in with their own culture and relating to the opinions of their own countrymen. I struggle with understanding the pressure to have a good career and make lots of money in order to succeed in life and sometimes prefer the laid back and extremely relational way of life of the Kazakh people. Some of their culture has become my own. While I do not regret this, it can be very confusing and stressful at times. However, MKs’ perspective generally gives them a good understanding of different worldviews and opinions as well as the ability to empathize with different kinds of people. After the September 11^th attacks on the United States, numerous people came to fear and some to even hate Muslims in general. This was somewhat understandable, since they did not understand their way of life or their beliefs. However, having grown up as an MK in a primarily Islamic country, I can testify that many Muslims are peace loving and God-fearing people. They themselves feel threatened and apprehensive about the terrorism and oppression taking place not far away from them, and are concerned lest there be an invasion of religious fanaticism into their own country. Instead of feeling fear and mistrust, we can take this opportunity to reach out them and bring them the good news of the final "Korban" or sacrifice for our sins and the assurance we can have of our place in eternity, something they are never quite certain of.

Both pros and cons characterize the issue of "home" for MKs, but the experience as a whole is priceless and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. As an MK, I have felt homeless, homesick, and out of place. But I have also acquired an understanding of who I am and where I really belong, the ability to adjust and flex with whatever life brings, and a connection with people from different backgrounds. For my own answer to the surprisingly involved question alluded to at the beginning of this essay, I would like to modify a statement quoted by the main character of the movie Sabrina. "The world is my country, but Almaty is my hometown."

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